I been so depressed for a hot minute. It finally got unbearable and i tried to take myself out. The crazy thing is the shit didn't even fazed me, alive or dead at this point i don't think i really care. If i was to make a table and on one side put reasons to live and on the other put reasons to die i think i would break even.
I feel alone.... I feel misunderstood... mislabeled.. miserable... uncomfortable with my comfortableness with death... I'm tired of people depending on me I'm tired of people being undependable. I just want to go in quiet room of toddlers napping and scream as loud as i can! I want to tell all the 6 year old's that there is no such thing as Santa, Easter bunny or Tooth fairy. Let them know life is all about waiting for your friends to fall so you can kick them while they are down. I want to buy a van and perform abortions in the back with a metal coat hanger.
I'm tired of pretending that i believe in god. Deep down i know that shit is bull shit.
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